poetry

strawberry lies

Strawberries lies 

Talking to another guy 

I wish he was mine 

And all the books he buys 

But I’m stuck in this tide

Fake laughs – smile wide 

Pretend that this is fine 

But I’d rather die 

Than sit here and sigh 

Sigh sigh 

Strawberries will be fine 

Go to bed another night 

Back to back – no fight 

Just emptiness inside 

It’s fine – it’s fine

Strawberry lies 

want me when i’m gone

I bought a beautiful black dress to kill myself in. But now I’m wondering if red is a better color to die in, to match the color slowing in my veins, maybe support a bloodstain lipped as an accessory. 

Or maybe I’m avoiding things. 

They only want me once I’m not theirs anymore

I’m the ‘it’ll do’ 

The afterthought 

 The ‘I suppose so’ 

But now I will simply

be

gone

starburst lips

Please don’t sympathize with me

I do not forgive

I only apologize 

————

I daydream so often about killing you lately 

Pushing a solid bullet through your chest 

I’ll stay and watch the blood pour from your chest 

Until blood drips from your bottom lip 

Lips like starbursts lips like rat traps 

The only DNA I’ll leave behind 

Is one last kiss on your blood ridden lips 

This is better for everyone love

The only way everyone you’ve hurt can move on 

Is if you’re six feet under 

And your body matches the temperature of your cold heart 

I’m sorry it had to be this way 

But please know 

I still don’t forgive you.

————

And you lied 

When you said you don’t remember that night 

I know you do 

I hope it haunts you as you haunt me

fight n flight

 

 

I’m sick of this pain partner 

That occupies the seat next to mine 

I’ve tried for years to shove it in the upper console

I tried storing it underneath my seat 

But alas

I suppose I just have to sit with this feeling 

mulch


 

Not even dirt honestly 

 

more like that sticky stuff between the dirt and rock under the ground 

 

So far down I can be bothered to look for the sun anymore 

 

I was a princess living this fantasy with a prince who could never love me

 

More like a tragedy 

 

An unfortunate scene of fatalities 

 

So I’ll stay under the ground 

Where I’ll look up to dirt feelings 

And pretend the sun doesn’t exist anymore

For me,

it really doesn’t

hopelessly devoted to no one

 

I had a dream about a boy 

He stopped my heart whenever his eyes reached mine

He sat across from me on the bus

As most of my loves had

Always going somewhere 

When really all I want is some time alone

With you 

Are you Real? 

Are you here? 

Should I just keep living in despair? 

Is my life nothing to repair?

I’ll always remember your stare

 

 

They say you only dream about people you’ve met

But I can’t imagine meeting you and my world not changing forever 

Where are you?