poetry

this time last year you knew where i was

should be plotting story lines and times

instead i’m sitting here thinking about how fucking good you’d look in a grey hoodie and jean jacket

share my canadian ways and our cool demeanours – cool until it’s too late, you’re frozen

in time

here with me

(you’re the only one who i didn’t need to be your only one just apart of your world was enough – just having some of you was enough)

adios por ahora

 

they love me because I check in

i ask how it’s going – i ask how it’s been

 

(most haven’t felt genuine concern in a while) 

 

now i’m thinking… how much apathy

do I have in me

put out selflessly

until they finally leave

 

(oh the tragedy)

 

 ———

 

consideration – not control

 

i find myself thinking – no, he wouldn’t like that

or find myself getting things you’d like

because i still consider you

 

not because you control me

i dressed up as ariel for halloween one year and my hair stayed red for weeks (it all stains the same)

 

if i can’t have you then no one ever truly will  

 

i’m like a siren  

leading them in with my loud hypnotizing bell  

but once they’re close for too long is too much  

too much  

“you’re too much”  

 

but you’ll always hear the echo of my charms bellow and i’m not sorry for that at all  

 

 

 

a single cup may be possible

 

and i said

                                 ”you’ve got my walls down again”

and you said

“i never did” 

i beg to differ

i shake my head

 

something we will never agree on

 

                                                 but some things, we do

(like denying the entire idea 

that we’re doing something wrong) 

 

“””Growing coffee plants indoors inside IS possible but please, don’t expect a large harvest of beans – a single cup of coffee may be possible after months of growth”””

 

(two years of silence 

  a single cup may be possible)