poetry

black hole: a note

anoteanoteanote….

It’s my favourite part 

The looks of realization 

The overwhelming presence of forgetfulness 

When I leave I don’t simply walk away

I always leave a huge black hole where I once laid

And now you will be left all alone with the void

As many men before you have learned to live with 

It cannot be filled with another 

It cannot be replaced by a new passion

Even I, myself, cannot fill this void for you 

Because once I have gotten up 

Decided to leave

It’s extremely hard to get me seated again

And you’ll walk around and see me everywhere 

You’ll wish you held my hand instead of your phone 

The silence won’t feel the same without me around

I hope it swallows you whole

And you realize 

What you have left in the dust 

Was the only thing that made you feel alive in the first place 

(Did you go to the same jeweller? Did you go to the same tattoo artist? Did you do anything new or just redid me and you?)

I need to remember your love is so fake

You put rings on things you don’t want forever

While messaging girls across the continents

Spending money on making those folders in your computer fuller 

(Your index from highschool probably still on your desktop today) 

Never did I think I would be one of them 

The girl she’ll find in your phone 

Will she break a photo frame like I did? 

Keep forgiving and upload to insta so everyone knows your hers? 

 

What a sad thing to promote – a depressing cheer

I take comfort in the fact I am no longer her

beating a dead horse

 

i get it

you want to see if it’s still there

you want to see if i would stare

you want to see if i still care 

 

(I’d like to know too, but truth is, love and hate is so close when it comes to you)

I promised myself I wouldn’t let you in my bed again  

Could we maybe meet at a hotel instead?  

silly ol’ me

 

Silly calf tattoos  

Sun is out all night 

These are the days I will miss 

-I just know it  

Incoming call from Spain  

Then Toronto came calling my name 

These are the days I’ll reminisce  

-I just know it  

I know it’s selfish of me honey yes I do  

But I think it’s time I stop living for you  

No hate no anger not even sympathy  

I just think it’s about time I live for me 

Me me me – a bitch’s cold plea  

Now I hear it as a melody  

Me me me – so silly so free  

Please oh god  

Just let me be !!!!!  

reader, loner, capitalist

 

You hated self-help books because you never take others advice

You’re not easy to cut off – I never wanted your ties 

Women telling me they ‘ loved you too ‘

I say, hun, you use that word is way too soon

You don’t know this man 

What he is capable of 

He has many big fans 

Of which he loves none

 

 

I never loved you 

But I never thought about killing you 

Which is as close as I get to feeling love these days

give it a day or two // i’ll stop writing about you

 

 

You ran off to be in love

And left me with all your burnt bridges 

It’s truly quite exhausting rising from the ashes

Over and over again 

 

I’m starting to find comfort in the warmth of the destruction along the ground

I’ll just stay here for a while and linger among the mess you made

 

And then I’ll be on my way 

don’t wait up

You’re always waiting  

I’ll do it later  

When I’m older  

I’m sorry I’m too busy to chat  

I’m living right now because I know I won’t have time later  

You’ve always wanted the simple life  

And I’ve always wanted the climax and lows  

I’ve always appreciated the art of a story no matter how sad and tragic  

So I’m out these days hearing these stories – telling stories – becoming the person I love 

I’m sorry that you feel the need to wait  

But I decided a very long time ago I had no time to wait

 

let alone 

 

for you