poetry

i miss the green

 

your blade is so fucking sharp

 

all the others can cry all day to me

 

but you show up in a dream

 

and I’m stuck

 

it was always supposed to be you and me

when I kissed you I knew that much for sure

 

but you always felt so far

 

and all I ever wanted to know

 

is if you felt the same

 

You think you’re tough because you like your coffee black

 

But darling I was there when she broke your heart and she broke you apart

 

It was always me throwing myself in front of trains for the chance

 

At times I’d catch you slip and take advantage of your lips

 

I can’t fucking believe I let you walk away from that

 

I bet you’re enjoying the warm beach days and the warm beach babes

 

But baby I know you have sensitive skin

And I know you burn badly

 

and its about those moments

that you feel

full

and unstoppable

 

 

 

I felt that on that city balcony

 

I felt that when I watched his hands drive stick

 

I felt that with my feet in the ocean

 

Right now I just feel sick

 

I can’t help but think

 

I missed out on my first pick

 

c u soon

 

I can’t be in the same space as you for that long

 

You know why

 

Because you easily slip into my mind and I lose it

 

You know I don’t lie

 

An of course you love me more now, I do too

 

But this wasn’t a positive result of you

 

Darling you can’t stay here with me

You ruin this and throw me to sea

Time and time again

 

You’ve got a color in cheeks the resemble hope

But this time I’m not jumping off a cliff without a rope

 

leftover love polish

 

I guess I’m just sick of being the ‘too little too late’

 

They want me once I’m gone

 

I really need a full joint and a night on the balcony with you

 

Because you were the only one of us three that had a sound mind

(I know you wouldn’t agree)

 

There’s still blood on my hands from you

 

Will I ever come clean?

 

I guess it’s my fault for sitting silent and drinking cold coffee

 

Instead of reaching and surpassing this

 

Is there snow where you are?

 

Because this winter may kill me

music update

 

please check out my playlist and music i’m listening to the week over on this page,

i really appreciate it

 

thank you to those who check in with me every day!
i appreciate your time

 

av

close to nothing

 

I guess what I’m saying is you equate me to nothing when you should be comparing me to gold because soon our love with go bronze and you’ll regret treating me like less. Simply put, I am dynamite and you are mountain that will not stand in my way. I will not be held down, I’ve been here before dear and it’s no fun. First, the ‘I love you’s ’ will start to sound like an automatic voice messaging machine and you will become comfortable with the un-nerving fact that our spark is out and this is our lives. But dear I’m not okay with the 9-5 lives, with the routines, with the schedule.

I need to feel like I can do anything not cemented to the fucking ground.

I need to feel that freedom I felt with you walking downtown late at night.

Right now I feel close to nothing.

 

Close.

 

third times a charm

 

Just tell me what happened

Don’t tell me you’re sorry

Because apologies mean nothing

When you don’t even have a story

I went to this college party once

I drank sangria and slept in a mansion

 

I felt empty and I thought of you

For the first time in a long time

 

I fell asleep with a real fur blanket

And the reality that our chance is over

Days go by and I don’t feel a thing

But then suddenly

You drag your lips across my right collar-bone

In the warm lavender bath

 

I like to feel so deeply with you

I drown in you

You hold me so hard in your multi-coloured arms

Can you feel this?

 

light all the candles

 

I guess you aren’t thinking of me

And that’s okay

 

Because I’m slowly starting to learn

that I shouldn’t stay

 

I need to close this chapter

We need an end

 

You always say you love me

But are you even my friend?

 

When you left it was real for me

Three years gone

 

But I moved I dyed my hair I changed

It didn’t feel wrong

 

But the only skeleton in my closet

Is you my dear

 

And I guess I should lock it

And look in the mirror

 

We kissed and killed each other love

You know that’s true

 

It’s time to breathe out the old

And breathe in the new

i love him so much (teotfw.pt2)

 

You will do just fine

The mess of your hair feels known

Can you just be mine?

 

Because I must go

Somewhere far away from here

You and I lay low

 

When you kissed me first

I let the last while fade

In you I’m submersed

 

 

I watch you run far

I hope you know I miss you

That kiss in the car

Come back soon

 

 

 

(gif cred http://mikkel-nielsen.tumblr.com/ )

i think he is properly beautiful (teotfw.pt1)

 

i did not plan this

she felt safe with me at times

different from my wish

 

it started strongly

but then i slowly felt change

you said i’m scrawny

 

you became a light

i was scared to touch your hand

lets forget that night

 

i will wait always

you still have such a spark love

we will be okay