poetry

shot gun pt.2

and babe you’re always riding shot gun

don’t you want to take control for a bit?

 

because i’m sick of leading our ship solo

i’m constantly moving up but this place is a pit

 

i’m not sure where i’m meant to be

but darling he loved me when no one else could
when you were back home
holding back her fists at parties in the woods
he fell asleep in my creations

 

and haven’t i told you?

you pulled the double shot

i wouldn’t quite call it

“kicking me while i’m down”

it was more like

the way you lose you heartbeat

after your lungs give out

 

i saw it coming

but it all feels the same in the end

you believe in everything but me

 

-and it sucks because we used to roll together so closely and now it’s normal to never see either of you-

 

i miss you both

but on different levels

can you come back?

fuck we used to be such rebels

smoking CC’s in your sebring

felt like a felony

but eventually you’d smoke

mid-mental breakdown on my balcony

do you remember me?

do you remember what we used to be?

please don’t lie to me

even if it’s common courtesy

sorry, i’ll just let it be

stay far away from me

 

next chapter

 

Another beginning without you

 

I’m getting good at this

 

I’m starting to learn important things

 

Like trust no one

 

Because every being is selfish

 

And now I’m here

 

Starting over yet again

 

Breathe in breathe out

 

Let the good things roll in

 

 

I see your slips

 

Are you hearing my voice at night?

 

Am I reminding you that you made this choice?

 

Sadly this all your doing

 

And I’ll admit I didn’t think I’d feel you again

 

But I see you slips

 

And I screenshot them as keepsakes

 

Of what could have been

 

 

 

To say I’m happy now

 

Well, it’s a broad statement

 

I see you’re trying darling

 

I appreciate the efforts

 

But I don’t feel that lighted wire that used to wrap us

 

I can’t find that drive we once had

 

Maybe you need a license

 

Or maybe I need to take the train home

 

do i look like a fool?

 

right now we are happy, we are feeling

content

but i can’t help but notice the fear in your eyes,

consequence

i am the calmest near water, please keep me

safe

but will my love for the waves find us in a different

place?

i don’t want space

i don’t want time

all i got is you

and this thing on my mind

 

“one day it’s gonna be not like this”

 

do you have what it takes to stay?

or will me and you go our separate ways?

 

i pray
you stay
don’t leave
i need you
always