poetry

there will be a time when I won’t remember what you smell like

or what your touch on my neck feels like

 

one day I will have a body that doesn’t even know of you

but today isn’t that day

close,

but not yet

‘i would rather be alone than be without you’

 

 

and you also took my breath away when i pulled up

but then things eventually go back to the way they need to be

i am here

you are there

you have her

 

 

and in case you forgot,

 

i love when you call me your girl

 

 

i try not to spend my time wondering if you ever think about me

i don’t check your online presence anymore

I deleted the photos of us

 

I try to erase you (i promise); i try

but you’re still here

 

 

 

 

everyday

the thing i have come to learn about myself is that i am not very solid, while other girls are concrete.

i am not the girl you plan a future with, i am the girl you enjoy in the meantime.

all i really want is someone who doesn’t wear an expiry date across their heart.

all i do is whine

about time

and how you’re not mine

i’m sorry i’m such a bother

i’m sorry i’m such a pain

i’m sorry for apologizing all the time

sometimes i feel like you’d be so much better off if i just disappeared

would you like that?

i hope that a day comes that i don’t write about you

but you always slip though me like the sun on a warm day through the blinds of my basement window

i guess one day i’ll be brave enough to face the darkness

(not knowing you anymore)

okay listen up because i’m only gonna’ say this once more

you left me. i never wanted to leave you.

i wanted us to break the odds; i wanted us to shine.

i wanted to be that couple that stayed together; i wanted us to set examples.

i wanted us to work.

and you win okay, the photos of you kissing her hurt me, so yes you win okay.

you win.

i think of you in the most random moments

like when i wrap my tacos, because you taught me how that one time in my sketchy basement suite when i moved out after high school

i don’t think you think of me

i think that’s fair

i just want you to know that i think about you sometimes, that’s all