poetry

‘i would rather be alone than be without you’

 

 

and you also took my breath away when i pulled up

but then things eventually go back to the way they need to be

i am here

you are there

you have her

 

 

and in case you forgot,

 

i love when you call me your girl

 

 

i try not to spend my time wondering if you ever think about me

i don’t check your online presence anymore

I deleted the photos of us

 

I try to erase you (i promise); i try

but you’re still here

 

 

 

 

everyday

the thing i have come to learn about myself is that i am not very solid, while other girls are concrete.

i am not the girl you plan a future with, i am the girl you enjoy in the meantime.

all i really want is someone who doesn’t wear an expiry date across their heart.

all i do is whine

about time

and how you’re not mine

i’m sorry i’m such a bother

i’m sorry i’m such a pain

i’m sorry for apologizing all the time

sometimes i feel like you’d be so much better off if i just disappeared

would you like that?

i hope that a day comes that i don’t write about you

but you always slip though me like the sun on a warm day through the blinds of my basement window

i guess one day i’ll be brave enough to face the darkness

(not knowing you anymore)

okay listen up because i’m only gonna’ say this once more

you left me. i never wanted to leave you.

i wanted us to break the odds; i wanted us to shine.

i wanted to be that couple that stayed together; i wanted us to set examples.

i wanted us to work.

and you win okay, the photos of you kissing her hurt me, so yes you win okay.

you win.

i think of you in the most random moments

like when i wrap my tacos, because you taught me how that one time in my sketchy basement suite when i moved out after high school

i don’t think you think of me

i think that’s fair

i just want you to know that i think about you sometimes, that’s all

i ran away with you to the mountains

but little did I know I only needed to run from you

–

–

i’d rather be loved by someone who doesn’t know how to love

than by someone who loved me terribly