poetry

they say that you always go back to your roots

eventually, you’ll be back with her

and i’ll end up alone

 

but that’s alright

i wont lose sleep at night

over you

i’m trying to decide who i am, as a person

and i’m quickly learning that who i am,

who i was,

and who i want to be,

are 3 different people

 

somedays I prefer who I was before i moved out of my parents place,

sometime’s I feel like I liked me a lot more before i met you.

there will be a time when I won’t remember what you smell like

or what your touch on my neck feels like

 

one day I will have a body that doesn’t even know of you

but today isn’t that day

close,

but not yet

‘i would rather be alone than be without you’

 

 

and you also took my breath away when i pulled up

but then things eventually go back to the way they need to be

i am here

you are there

you have her

 

 

and in case you forgot,

 

i love when you call me your girl

 

 

i try not to spend my time wondering if you ever think about me

i don’t check your online presence anymore

I deleted the photos of us

 

I try to erase you (i promise); i try

but you’re still here

 

 

 

 

everyday

the thing i have come to learn about myself is that i am not very solid, while other girls are concrete.

i am not the girl you plan a future with, i am the girl you enjoy in the meantime.

all i really want is someone who doesn’t wear an expiry date across their heart.

all i do is whine

about time

and how you’re not mine

i’m sorry i’m such a bother

i’m sorry i’m such a pain

i’m sorry for apologizing all the time

sometimes i feel like you’d be so much better off if i just disappeared

would you like that?

i hope that a day comes that i don’t write about you

but you always slip though me like the sun on a warm day through the blinds of my basement window

i guess one day i’ll be brave enough to face the darkness

(not knowing you anymore)