i get it

you want to see if it’s still there

you want to see if i would stare

you want to see if i still care 

(I’d like to know too, but truth is, love and hate is so close when it comes to you)

I promised myself I wouldn’t let you in my bed again  

Could we maybe meet at a hotel instead?  

But it is not fair to take that out on me 

I don’t care for your hostility 

That’s clearly born from jealousy 

I won’t slow down I won’t concede 

I live on my own with no one to control me

Not my fault you dropped out while I get my degree

Maybe you should spend more thoughts on you 

-Rather than me

You will never succeed

With all the hate you bleed 

(that could never be me) 

I feel uneasy with your grip 

Can I hold myself up better? 

Forever mad at who I’ve been

Striving to over correct it

What do you aim for? 

Is everything you say and feel temporary? 

Or like me are you a to the grave type? 

Will I ever know what is permeant to you? 

And everything was new 

Only thought about me and you 

But now with you I feel so lonely 

You never loved me after all

Just a combination of weed and alcohol

That’ll teach me not to fall 

I’ll try not to smile 

Bite my lips for a while

I’m too young to take myself out 

You’ll never succeed 

Tied down like a tree 

Boiling water poured upon your roots

No more room for growth

You’re hitting a new low 

I don’t have time to ask if you’re okay 

My head is above the waves

My future is this path I pave

The older we get the clearer we see

You were never the one for me

Two broken souls completely lost at sea

You grabbed onto me 

Made me weak

Made me bleed

But now I see

I’m better than can be

With your spirits underneath my feet 

you aren’t there

but i still stare

i guess i still care

you were never fair

now you’re somewhere

hands in a new pair

breathing in that new air

i am your biggest scare

push your decency down the stairs

finding someone like me is rare

i know i’m still there

that you care

(hold your stare)

(keeping that ring you wear)

(you’ll always be there)

to fall  & stay in love

with someone who never cared if i cried

not even at our peak

we’ve had more than enough each other

but i always let you back in

puppy eyes, ‘please’ , ‘it’s not the same without you’

it’s not me

it’s nature

science

chemical

keeping me here

what have you done to me?

do you also have days where the world feels empty because i stole it from you?

what is existence without resistance?

what is love without a little war?

is it even worth it?

when i talked to the sky

didn’t matter that

it wasn’t another guy

i had no one

you made sure

killing you

was my cure

i’ll lick the blood off my blade

no need to hide in dark and shade

they know

who you are

what you’ve done

They are quite aware

of the demon you’ve become

they say everyone deserves love

but i hope you get none

if there isn’t enough

we don’t allow people like you, waste

try & fail

back at the beginning of your tale

we accomplish

while you simply fade away

go back to your town

(you’ve got nothing to say?)

i guess a quiet tongue is a truthful one, you’re right

but one day your conscious will win the fight

(leave me out of it)

Onto Uni, the next tier 

Never did I think I’d be here 

To waste my power is a sin 

I love the towers that surround me

Make me feel safe, at ease 

Finally up off my boney knees 

It was all possible I just had to leave 

No one can track me 

On a fucking cell phone screen

I am completely free