note – manda vi

breezy; a note

Amanda Vi — Fri, 22 Mar 2019 17:41:18 +0000

I don’t want to keep going. I’ve been low before but I’ve never felt so hollow and empty; worthless. My body follows my mind and shuts down with it. I know I am capable of loving who I am but I feel, right now, like I am no one, like I am nameless. Searching my mind for reasons to stay every day and the list continues to grow shorter and shorter. And I remember losing you and I remember how it felt to me; I don’t wish that on anyone I love. But I also remember how easy it seemed. One day you were here and the next day you just weren’t. Like a breeze.

Some days I want to join the wind with you.

admittance (a note)

Amanda Vi — Wed, 25 Jul 2018 18:00:41 +0000

I let myself cry about you today

I allowed my brain to dig deep and open the files, the ones filled with your scent of hard work, cigarettes and your dirty hair.

My fingers used to find themselves wrapped around your golden strands more than once, it’s in the way that I need to feel like leaves and branches that are in my pathway, I always felt that I needed to feel you, experience you.

And now you’re gone, I’ll let it be.

(but please know you meant the world to me)

star ceilings (a note)

Amanda Vi — Mon, 09 Jul 2018 18:00:58 +0000

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When I was a kid my favourite place to stay the night was my grandmas house in Edgewood. The bedroom I stayed in was magical. My grandma had arranged plastic glow in the dark stars on the ceiling in the image of the galaxy. I don’t remember if it was very accurate, but I remember wishing on a different star every night. Even when I was younger I had a hard time sleeping. At my grandmas house I would just count the stars until I fell sleep. Now I just count the things I am thankful for and the people I love.

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