I guess you aren’t thinking of me

And that’s okay

Because I’m slowly starting to learn

that I shouldn’t stay

I need to close this chapter

We need an end

You always say you love me

But are you even my friend?

When you left it was real for me

Three years gone

But I moved I dyed my hair I changed

It didn’t feel wrong

But the only skeleton in my closet

Is you my dear

And I guess I should lock it

And look in the mirror

We kissed and killed each other love

You know that’s true

It’s time to breathe out the old

And breathe in the new

They’re just waiting for me to collapse so they can rebuild

And Jake,
I rang that church bell on my way home but when you’re alone
it rings differently

Of all the people I chose to spend my time with I don’t think
I spent enough time with you

tell me that when you wake up in the morning you need your first breath to be stolen from my lips when you roll over in the morning and kiss me.

I need to believe you when you say you love me.

I need you told hold my hips so tight that when you breath those words onto my neck, I have no choice but to believe you.

Because you see darling

I’m skeptical because so many times before I’ve been told I’m loved

I’ve been told all those classic one lines

“i love you”

“forever and always”

“i could never be without you”

…yet I end up alone.

And darling even sleeping next to you feels empty lately because when your eyes close and I’m stuck awake all I can really believe are the whispers I hear around our bed frame, telling me you’ll be gone soon too.

And I guess I need to hear from you that the voices are wrong.

“Just enjoy where you are now

I know its hard but my dear you need to put the space between where you are and where you want to be encourage you and not keep you up at night

Because not only are there bags under your eyes but I can hear the desperation for power in your tone

In time you will be what you were meant to be

But please love

Sleep

And enjoy where you are now”

L.V

My body is slowing down

But my mind continues to race

(I’m not ready to say goodnight)

All I think about

Are the places I haven’t been

The things I haven’t seen

And baby im so scared

Im scared to actually let you go

I’m terrified of cutting ties

Because this doesn’t feel like the climax of our story love

It feels like the end

I’m bad at keeping up

My mind is on a different route than my heart

And at this point I’m not even sure if they will line back up

All I know is my mind is rose and my heart is jack

There is enough room for both to float yet I choose to let one drown

but i’m not ready to say good morning either

i want to keep you in my dreams for now

i know before i felt like i left you to drown at the waves that once consumed me

But then you touched my neck and the entire world shut the fuck up for a second

I could hear myself think

I could feel my blood flowing

Now you’re far and i’m here dreaming of days when i’m older and can find enough faith in the world to love you (love this) agai

And you’re right darling,

We can’t keep dreaming.

You are there,

and i

am simply

here.

They may stay lingering

But please know

At the start

You were my

heart